I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five...
Times New Roman you know the type
Calling me Public Enemy, but don't believe the hype
Tough guy like the one in "Star 80" wanna bait me
Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me
Gave your gi...
Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God there would ...
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a ...
Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about
I'd appreciate your input
...
Why try? I'm that guy
Holden Caulfield from "Catcher In The Rye"
Put away 'cause he wasn't all there
Like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare
Me to him not a liver but wurst
Been much better off...
Ooh, that was creepy,
I would rather slurp rancid tunasalad out of my own ass,
or scour my boobies off with a rusty SOS pad,
or hump a piece of splintered balsa wood.
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta...
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Ouch it won't reach my mout...
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Sha...
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be,
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that brigh...
[Mother]: Hello Frank,
[Jim:] Hello mother dear,
[Mother:] Hi, what are you doin'?,
[Jim:] I'm trying to think of words that rhyme with vagina,
[Mother:] Oh,
[Mother:] lima? Like lima beans,
...
A is for "Apple",
B is for "Balloons",
C is for "Crayons",
D is for "Drum",
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell,
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two,
That's the year I got here whe...
...You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird,
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve,
In front of the Beatles' tour bus,
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck,
Hauling hazard...
{The Bloodhound Gang record's called 'One Fierce Beer Coaster'
And on the front of the record there's a picture of a beer coaster
So the record looks like a beer coaster
Ho hoo hoo hoo}
{That's so...
Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans
Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same
So fa...
Stop as we drop this bomb
Blow up this place like another Vietnam
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome
Back up son give me room give me room
To set it off like this don't give it up
I'm all up ...
Yea well I sing like an amputee though
Why?
Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune
Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie
I've brought you a letter speedy delivery
Well Mr. McFeelie if t...