May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"? He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed Not a quote of what he wrote but a ...

Coughing....

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input ...

Dear Chasey Lain I wrote to explain I'm your biggest fan I just wanted to ask Could I eat your ass? Write back as soon as you can You've had a lotta dick Had a lotta dick I've had a lotta...

Excuse me, have you seen my wife's placenta?

A is for "Apple", B is for "Balloons", C is for "Crayons", D is for "Drum", Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell, One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two, That's the year I got here whe...

Here are the 10 coolest things about New Jersey Hit it boys, get away from me, can't you see I'm just losing you, aren't you just on your own? The new things 10, shit, 9, fuck, 8, cunt and 7, 6, 5...

How do you let someone know If your hot cakes are selling well?

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be, Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me, Lefty? Yeah but that was alright, She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that brigh...

Times New Roman you know the type Calling me Public Enemy, but don't believe the hype Tough guy like the one in "Star 80" wanna bait me Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me Gave your gi...

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby Dog will hunt I'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size Drive stick with that kung-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right t...

Who's The Knuckleheads? We Are The Knuckleheads? [X4] If You Would Be The Peanut Butter Then I Would Play The Jelly I'll Peel Apart Your Bread And Then I'll Penetrate Your Belly Your Blood Stai...

Hey, look at all that meat, ain't she the bitter end?

Alright crew, it's weekend Flat on your back like one, two, three 'Pon the mic I'm the teacher Spread my words like a preacher Cut the crap, Get a slap Drum'n'Bass's still on the map Drum'n'Bass'...

Why is everbody always pickin' on me? The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you're misl...

Are those num-chucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World I was sweating ...

One Night Me And The Crew Hit The Road On A Mission To Slurp Free Brew And Go Fuzzy Flounder Fishin' Kayjees On The Hi-Fi And The Keg Was Bottomless Until We Brought Skip O' Pot2mus And Daddy's...

Yea well I sing like an amputee though Why? Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie I've brought you a letter speedy delivery Well Mr. McFeelie if t...

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Ouch it won't reach my mout...

Cruel to the eye I see the way he makes you smile Cruel to the eye Watching him hold What used to be mine Why did I lie? What did I walk away to find Ooohhh - why.....oooh - why.... [C...